Wednesday, April 5, 2023
What I’m really afraid of is mental pain. I’m not afraid I’m going to fail, lose everything, have no place to live. I’m afraid I’m going to feel bad about it. Ashamed, embarrassed, guilty for not handling my responsibilities. Worthless. Hating myself, wishing I could die, wishing I could crawl under something and hide.
If I don’t manage to somehow recover, get a job, support myself and T, find some way that we can live, be at least a little successful–at least be able to care for myself… then it will just hurt and hurt and hurt.
I sure feel like shit right now.
Black Hole Radiation 