XX So now what?

I have gotten to the point in my “recovery” where a week without posting does not mean I may have killed myself. But after a couple of episodes in the last few weeks I have also been forced to accept that I am not going to be well enough to speak of “recovery” without quotation marks any time soon.

If ever. That’s something I’m also going to have to think about. It’s well known that each depressive episode makes further depressions more and more likely. I have to wonder: will my brain ever function well enough to allow me to lead a normal life? Is it time to start thinking in terms of “doing the best I can” and “minimizing the damage?”

I am a little too old to think about turning my life around. There’s not enough of it left. At this point doing my best with the time remaining seems more realistic. Running out the clock in a way that minimizes the chance of injuries.

I do want to continue this blog, however. There are still a couple of points I want to make. A couple of things that I think about often but haven’t yet put down in words. Some things about the ramifications of human limitations. And some even more vague ideas about neurodivergence, sanity, and human purpose. Time to go back to the archives and see if there is anything worth posting, too, I suppose.